All About Spike - Print Version
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Once More Into The Breach
By Colleen

He swaggered into the cave, stomped up to the demon, and looked him straight in the eyes. “You bloody, lying git!”

“Ah, vampire. You have returned. You seem dissatisfied. Was there something else we could do for you?” His eyes glowed in the dark of the cavern. His voice was low and menacing. “I thought you’d be halfway to the new world by now.”

“You told me,” he punched his forefinger into the demon’s chest. “You said you’d given me back my soul. Hurt like hell. But it was just one big joke, wasn’t it, crusty? One big game of kick the Spike.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You endured the trials. We returned your soul.”

“Bloody right I endured your trials. Like to have killed me, it did. But you didn’t return my bleedin’ soul. Don’t feel a lick bit a’ difference.” He glared at the creature, his hands on his hips. “They say there’s one born every minute, and I’ve been suckered royally.”

“Why do you think that your soul was not returned? This is becoming tiresome. Surely I’ll not need to summon more warriors to escort you out?”

“I know what I was.” He started pacing back and forth. “I know that William ponce inside and out. I’m not him. I’m exactly who I was when I got here.”

“Really?” His extra extremities waved behind him. “Do you have a desire to drink from humans?”

“I am a vampire. Always gonna feel the hunger. But no. No real desire to bite the populace.” He waved his finger in the demon’s face. Or where his face would have been had he had one. “But that don’t prove a thing. Haven’t wanted to bite anyone for a long time. Not really.” He grasped for more examples. “And Harris. I want to punch that wanker right in the nose. Just like I always did. That proves it. No soul.”

“Does the wanker have a soul?”

“‘S’pect so. Yeah.”

“And did he ever hit you?”

“Well, okay. Maybe that’s not proof. But what about Buffy? I should be feelin’ all refined now, and I still want to be with her in ways that I certainly don’t want to explain to you.”

“You still love her?”

“Bloody right.”

“You care about others? Her friends? Her family?”

“Yeah.” He was getting frantic. “But I did. Before.”

“Congratulations. You have a soul. It may not be what you expected, but I’m sure you’ll work it out. Leave.”


“Leave.” He watched the vampire slump off, confused. “These creatures. Give him a soul, and he expects an instruction manual, too.” He looked towards the cave entrance. “Next!”