All About Spike - Plain Version
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Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Interlude 8 9 10 11 12 13
The Watchers' Diaries: The Apocrypha
Entry 1 - Letters from Home
letter with the Sunnydale postmark was a welcome surprise. There had been
several transatlantic calls since Giles' return to Bath, but no letters.
It hadn't surprised him, really; Buffy and the Scoobies were very much
children of modern America, and he had long ago discovered letter writing
was something of a forgotten art in that country. Perhaps he would break
down and get an e-mail account; electronic communication might prove more
into his favorite chair, the rain beating gently against the windows,
Giles turned the envelope over, savoring the anticipation before actually
opening it. He felt a slight disappointment when he realized the return
address was that of The Magic Box. Most likely Anya had sent him a progress
report on how the business was doing. The handwriting was not hers, though,
the letters more looping and flowing, a style Giles had not seen since
his school days.
got the best of him at last, and he carefully slit open the envelope.
There were several sheets inside, all covered with the same flowing handwriting.
No, it couldn't be from Buffy or her friends. They had the most appalling
handwriting. Unfolding the sheets, he began to read.
probably the last person in the universe you'd expect a letter from, but
I thought you might like to hear what's happening here on the Hellmouth.
Giles flipped through the pages until he reached the signature, a single
he returned to the beginning, wondering what the vampire could possibly
have to say that would cover so much paper.
managed to keep ourselves busy since your departure, trying to track down
a demon who seems to have a fondness for freezing museum guards and stealing
diamonds. No luck on that front, though anything you might know would
and Anya are continuing with their marriage plans, although Anya is starting
to show a certain longing for her demon heritage that could mean trouble.
Don't know if it's pre-wedding jitters or she's really having second thoughts.
Droopy Boy is being amazingly mature about the whole thing, much to everyone's
surprise. Perhaps there's a prophecy somewhere in your annals about sodding
idiots growing up and the world ending?
has moved out of Casa Summers, thanks to Willow's little forgetting spell.
However, she's still seeing Dawn, and Red is hoping the two of them will
get back together. I doubt that'll happen anytime soon. Appears that there's
this rat Willow had who was really a girl and Willow finally managed to
de-rat her (you may know more about this -– I couldn't get a coherent
background). Anywise, this girl Amy is apparently also a witch and more
than a little willing to dabble in the Black Arts. She's hooked Red up
with some bad stuff and bad people. The man's name is Rack, and if I didn't
have this sodding chip in my head, I'd let him know it's time for him
to close up shop and move on. He's gotten Red hooked on the dark stuff,
and is feeding off her energy – that's been his usual mode of operation.
Apparently, Red's sworn off it, but I can't imagine Rack letting such
a tasty feed go so easily. Don't ask me how I know him; it's a long story
and I can hear you clucking your tongue at me all the way from here.
realized he was indeed clucking his tongue. Putting the letter down, he
fetched himself a scotch. Somehow, he had the feeling he was going to
fortified, Giles picked up where he'd left off.
real trouble came when Red decided to drag Dawn along while she got her
"fix." They went missing for hours, Buffy worried (the girl
does need a lojack) and I got dragged in to help find the Nibblet. What
followed wasn't pretty. Turns out Red had managed to conjure up a demon
while she was on her little power fling, and it'd ended up following them.
To make a long story short, Willow stole a car, crashed it, damn near
got Dawn eaten by this demon, and fried it while Buffy was in the process
of kicking its ass. Dawn had a broken arm, and I ended up taking her to
emergency while Buffy dealt with our addict.
and I had a long chat while we waited for her to get her arm set. She's
feeling lonely and cut off. Seems Buffy's been either smothering or ignoring
her, and everyone else – myself included, sad to say – have
been pretty much ignoring her now that Buffy's back. Fortunately, Tara
seems to take a real interest in her and, despite the problems between
her and Red, is still making an effort to let the Nibblet know that someone
cares. I'm going to try to do better myself, but that may be difficult
due to certain other circumstances.
you might guess, the certain other circumstances include Buffy. She's
not doing great, Rupert, but I think you knew that when you left. After
she came back, we started talking. Rather, she started talking; I listened
and tried to make her smile on occasion. I think maybe it's the fact we
have a shared experience. After all, we've both had to claw ourselves
out of our coffins and that's something you don't forget, no matter how
long you go on. I'll make a confession; I've known since shortly after
she came back where Red wrenched her out of, only she made me promise
not to let you lot know. She so desperately wanted to make everyone think
it was alright, that they'd done a good thing by bringing her back. Maybe
it would have been better if she'd let out everything that was inside
her then, instead of letting it fester.
desperate to feel anything, but it's also like what she does feel, she's
afraid of. She's blowing hot and cold on me, and it's driving me mad.
She seeks me out, we snog madly, then she turns ice queen and runs away.
Only it's gone beyond the snogging now, and she wants to pretend it never
know what you're doing at this moment. You're picking up the phone to
call the airlines, hop a plane over here and stake me. Put the phone down.
I have no intention of hurting her; I'd stake myself before I did that.
realized his hand had indeed reached for the phone. With an effort, he
replaced the receiver and continued to read.
will kill me if she ever finds out I told you, but I've reached the point
where I need to talk to someone, and I feel we can at least speak man
to man – or vampire to watcher, as it were. I love the girl, Rupert,
and love her enough to know she's the best damn thing that's ever happened
to me, dead or alive. I'll take eternal damnation, Dru, Angelus, Darla
and all the rest if that's what it took to get me to this moment.
being soggy. I'm not writing this to let you know I feel sorry for myself,
because in some ways I'm not. The best thing I can do for Buffy is be
strong and not indulge her behavior any longer. She's leaned on all of
us and needs to stand on her own two feet and face what life's dealt her.
Only when she does that will she start to heal.
you knew that, didn't you? It's one of the reasons you left, because she'd
come to depend on you too much. All slayers have a death wish; I've seen
it in their eyes. But I never saw it in Buffy's eyes until now. She longs
to be away from here, and I fear that someone's going to slip in and have
that one good day. She's got to find a reason for living, be it Dawn or
me or whatever it takes.
me and the girl aren't talking at the moment. Things are…complicated
between us, but I still want to do what's best for her, and that's why
I'm writing you. Quite accidentally, I discovered my chip doesn't work
on her. Works on every other human around; I know because I tried and
got the migraine to prove it. It doesn't, however, work on Buffy. (I will
spare you the gory details on how I proved it.) So, unless this chip is
Buffy-centric, which I doubt, there's something about her that isn't firing
used something called the Protocols of Osiris to bring Buffy back. That
much I've managed to extract from Tara. I could go and look it up at The
Magic Box, but that would raise some eyebrows and suspicions. Besides,
while I've done a spell or two, I'll be the first to admit it's not really
my area of expertise. You've got the background and training, and with
the resources of the Watcher's Council at your command (somebody must
owe you some favors), I'm sure you can find out how the bloody thing was
supposed to work and what could have gone wrong. Perhaps it's just a remnant
of an other-wordly Buffy, but I'd rest easier if I knew.
cut a deal with Anya, and she'll let me use the store as a mail drop,
so you can write me care of that address. (She's insisting on my help
with inventory in return for this favor. Lo, how the mighty have fallen.)
Write soon. I'll keep my eye on her, but the clock is ticking.
hello to the Mother Country for me,
the crackling fire in the fireplace, Giles suddenly felt very cold.
Continued in Entry 2 - Intentions
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