All About Spike - Plain Version
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Secrets and Lies
By Caro
Chapter Twenty-One
Buffy felt the bottom drop out of her stomach.
The last time she'd seen Angel regain his soul, there'd been
confusion in his eyes when he'd first returned, uncertainty
as to what had happened. That had been swiftly followed by
joy at seeing her and she'd knew she'd never forget that look;
it'd haunted her for months afterwards, along with his shock
when she rammed the sword through this chest.
The confusion was there, but she saw the memories
return and she saw the pain. He knew. She'd known that everything
Angelus had done and seen, he would know, but no matter how
many times she'd told herself she could deal with it, the
reality of the moment made her want to run.
He looked away, toward Wesley and the others
and she pressed back against Spike, wanting comfort as her
throat tightened and her eyes burned. "Hi, guys,"
Angel managed, his words a bit raspy.
"Angel?" Wesley asked, his voice
sounding just a little uncertain.
"It should be him," Willow said.
"The ritual went like it was supposed to. Buffy, did
his eyes do that weird glow the last time?"
She tried to reply, but her mouth was dry
and the words wouldn't come. Swallowing, she managed, "Yes.
That's what happened."
"Buffy's the only who's actually seen
Angel just after re-souling," Willow explained, sounding
amazingly chipper for someone who'd just completed an intense
ritual.
"The soul's there," Spike's voice
was serious. "Other vampires...we can feel it, feel the
difference. Don't take my word for it, though; you might want
to do your own test."
"Maybe Lorne should do a reading,"
Fred suggested. "I know it didn't work out terribly well
last time, but we should give it a try."
"Angel? Cupcake? Feel up to singing me
a few lines?" Lorne's voice was soothing, coaxing if
Angel was hesitant, but not pressuring him to do anything
he wasn't ready for.
Angel slowly drew himself up to his feet,
his eyes flickering briefly over toward Buffy, then quickly
away. Clearing his throat, he started to sing in a low voice,
"Once when you were mine, we lived within a world
all our own, once when you were mine, once there was a time..."
The voice was halting and slightly off-key...and
Lorne's smile had become somewhat fixed. "Still going
for the Manilow, I see."
"Yeah, well, you know how much I like
the classics. Did I pass?"
Everyone looked toward Lorne. "Oh, it's
Angel. I just...you know, you probably need to rest, big guy.
Let's get you some blood and get you tucked up in your bed."
There was a general agreement and Willow undid
the magic binding the lock, allowing Angel to step out of
the cage. His friends came forward to greet him, let him know
they were glad he was back. Buffy couldn't bring her feet
to move, though, not knowing what she could possibly say.
Her hand slipped up to cover Spike's, wishing the two of them
were anywhere but here.
Angel started for the stairs, but stopped
as he passed near her. "It's good to see you, Buffy,"
he said with a sad smile. In the next moment, his gaze moved
behind her and his expression hardened. "Spike, get the
hell out of my home."
He turned his back on them and headed up the
stairs, pausing only to look down at Connor. Father and son
said nothing, merely looked at each other for a long moment,
then Angel continued on toward the lobby.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the basement.
Lorne and Wesley exchanged looks and then Lorne followed Angel
up the stairs. "He doesn't understand," Fred said
by way of apology. "He doesn't know you've been helping
us."
"Doesn't matter," Spike said, sounding
unaccountably weary. "We've hated each other from the
moment we met."
He pressed a kiss to the top of Buffy's head.
"Your call, luv. What next?"
Hit the road for Sunnydale every
instinct said. It'd be one way to avoid the very unpleasant
conversation that lay ahead. "We have to stay. I need
to talk to him about the First, see if there's anything he
knows or has been going on that could help us."
As she expected, he offered no argument, though
his expression when she looked up at him made it clear his
preference was to be gone.
"If Buffy feels she needs to stay,"
Wesley said, "I'd be happy to offer you accommodations,
Spike. Believe me, I understand how...insistent he can be
when one's aroused his ire."
It was a kind gesture on Wesley's part, one
Buffy hadn't expected. She hated the idea of sending him off
so she could stay and to speak to Angel. What if she didn't
get a chance to talk to him tonight? Would they be stuck here
until tomorrow evening? What was she going to do during the
day? Disappear to Wesley's as well?
"I'm going to talk to him," she
said abruptly. "If Angel wants to throw you out, he can
throw me out as well and we can just go home."
She'd barely managed to pull away when Lorne
stuck his head back into the basement as if on cue. "Buffy?
Angel would like to have a word with you, if you don't mind."
"Maybe we should pack," she said
jokingly, then headed up the stairs.
"He's in the office," Lorne said
in a low voice as they entered the lobby. "Be gentle
with him; I think he realizes he might have been a bit harsh
a few moments ago."
Buffy had a funny feeling Angel hadn't come
to that realization on his own, but she didn't comment before
heading into the small office just off the area behind the
counter. Angel was sitting behind the desk, staring morosely
into a cup of blood. "You wanted to see me?"
Angel looked up, shifting uncomfortably. "Yeah,
I...well, I...of all the people in the world, why Spike?"
The last words were a bit plaintive, as if
he were hoping she'd tell him it wasn't true. "You mean,
why him because he's infuriating and rude and sometimes I
want to strangle him, or why him because he's the last person
in the world you want to see me with?"
"I want you to have a normal life, Buffy.
You deserve it."
She laughed, realizing she shouldn't be surprised
they were going to cover the same tired old ground. "I
deserve a lot of things. I deserve a chance to finish college.
I deserve to have my mother alive. I deserve to have one year
out of my life where I'm not fighting an apocalyptic battle
where I might die. The odds of me getting any of those are
pretty slim."
"You deserve better than Spike."
There were two options open to Buffy at this
point. She could walk out, grab Spike, Willow and Kennedy,
go back to Sunnydale in a huff and let this fester. The other
option was to sit down and attempt to have an adult conversation
with a somewhat cranky vampire.
Buffy settled herself in a chair, took a deep
breath and promised her to try and remain calm. "Whether
or not I 'deserve' better than Spike is not open for discussion.
This wasn't something I went leaping into lightly, believe
me."
"You don't know him like I do. You don't
understand..."
"I think I'm beginning to understand
him pretty well -- and I understand how he's changed. He came
down here to help you." She didn't necessarily intend
the rebuke in her voice.
"I know." Angel started studying
his blood once more. "Lorne told me and...I know."
He took a drink, then leaned back in his chair,
staring at the ceiling. "The memories of what happened
when I was...gone are coming back. It's bits and pieces right
now, but there are certain things that are painfully clear.
I remember trying to bite you. I remember fighting with you,
with Spike. I definitely remember Spike jamming a tranquilizer
dart in my butt."
"After which you gave him that nasty
bruise he's sporting."
Was that a smile on his face? If so, it had
vanished when he looked at her again. "What I'm trying
to say is that I don't like Spike, I don't like him being
here, I definitely don't like the idea of him being
with you...but the least I can do is not throw him out."
Buffy wondered if he'd realized Spike leaving
meant her departure as well or if he was genuinely feeling
a touch of remorse for acting like an arrogant ass to someone
who'd tried to help him. Either way, it meant she could take
care of business without that hanging over her head. "Thank
you. I just...well, we can talk tomorrow. There've been some
things happening in Sunnydale that you might be able to help
us with."
This time he was definitely smiling. "You
know all you have to do is ask, Buffy. Whatever I can do.
Maybe once we've cleared things here, I should come up and
visit."
That idea didn't fill her with the same enthusiasm
it once would have. Still, she smiled as was expected of her.
"That'd be great. Look, Lorne's right. Finish your blood
and get some rest. We all need it. It's been a hard few days.
I need to call Giles, anyway, let him know we might be home
tomorrow night. Spring in Sunnydale; you know the drill."
It was the perfect cue to exit on, pulling
her cell phone from her pocket as she went. Checking the indicators,
she realized she had a new message and frowned, wondering
if it might be Giles. Today was...Wednesday? Was that all?
Tapping in the code to retrieve her message, she lifted the
phone to her ear. "Buffy? His friend's visiting again,
talking to him now. He's told her you're on the trail. Buffy?
Oh, bloody hell..."
So much for cell phones being a great help
in their work, not that Spike's warning would have made any
difference. Hitting the speed dial code for the house, she
leaned against the counter as she waited for someone to pick
up. "Vi? It's Buffy. No, I'm fine. Is Giles around? Why
is he...never mind. Just tell him I'm one the phone. Giles,
why are you threatening Andrew with bodily harm? I see. Well,
yes, I'd probably feel like hurting him for that myself. We're
doing fine down here, got Angel all re-souled, so that's good.
Um, well, I've only gotten to talk to Angel for a
few minutes; Angelus was the usual pain in the neck. I
thought it was funny. We're going to talk tomorrow, compare
notes on what's been happening, see if there's anything that
might help us. After that, we should be heading back up. Yeah,
tomorrow night. More potentials? Can I tell you how
not thrilled I am? Okay, okay. Sacred calling and all that.
Look, I got about three hours sleep last night, so I'm going
sneak off to bed while things are quiet. Yes, I'll call before
we get on the road. See you tomorrow."
Dropping the cell phone back in her pocket,
Buffy noticed Spike, Willow and Kennedy were waiting by the
elevators at the far end of the lobby. "So, we staying
or going?" Willow asked as she approached.
"Staying," Buffy said.
"You're not telling me Angel suddenly
saw reason -- or did you convince him?"
There was a streak of tension in Spike's voice
and she had to wonder if maybe she shouldn't have brought
him, shouldn't have put him in this position. It might have
been easier for all of them. Even as she considered that idea,
though, she knew it would have been far more difficult without
his presence. "Is he happy? No. Tried to convince me
I wasn't doing the right thing and he'll probably try again
before we leave. But he also admitted that you'd been helping
and said letting you stay is the least he could do."
"Oh, yeah, because the hospitality I
showed him..." Spike caught himself, cutting his words
off abruptly. "Not going to go there. Water under the
bridge. We're going home tomorrow night?"
He sounded so hopeful. "Absolutely,"
she assured him. Besides, I have to be back at school on Monday,
so I'd like to have at least a couple of days before I'm balancing
work with potential wrangling again."
"Besides trying to discover if Principal
Wood is really evil."
Buffy let out a sigh. "Did you have to
remind me, Willow? I still haven't figured out how to do that.
Maybe I should sneak into the school after hours and toss
his office."
Kennedy grinned. "Sounds fun."
"Sounds bloody dangerous," Spike
said. "Do we know if that seal in the basement is active
or am I the only one who can bleed on it?"
"Good point. Maybe a midnight raid isn't
the best idea. Come one. I want to get some sleep."
They started across the lobby, but stopped
as Angel came out of the office. He looked at them, a mixture
of pain and anger on his face. Buffy felt Spike's hand tighten
a little at her waist and realized she hadn't even notice
he'd slipped his arm around her, so natural the gesture had
seemed. Then Wesley appeared to ask Angel some question and
draw him toward the stairs, avoiding a confrontation.
Tomorrow night. They weren't staying any longer
than tomorrow night.
***
It'd been a blissful morning as far as Spike
was concerned. No alarm clock to waken them, no pounding girly
feet; just the two of them curled up next to each other in
bed, slowly rousing from sleep. He also knew it was a rare
moment for them and one he intended to savor.
The idea of simply sharing conversation while
they lay among the covers was a novel one, suited to a lazy
morning, enough light filtering through the windows to wrap
them in a warm glow, but not enough to set him burning.
When Buffy finally slipped out of bed, saying
something about being hungry and taking Willow off to find
a proper breakfast, he didn't object, content to lie in bed
and listen to the water pounding in the shower. He could hear
her singing, some silly pop ditty with no tune and crap words,
but it was beautiful music to his ears.
"You going to be lazy?" she asked
when she'd dried off and dressed, sitting on the edge of the
bed and running her fingers through his hair.
"Vampire here. Every once in a while,
I suppose I should make some token acknowledgement of the
fact I'm supposed to be a creature of darkness and sleep the
day away."
Buffy laughed and kissed him, then issued
a stern warning for him to be out of bed by the time she got
back or she'd have to perform an awful torture such as tickling
him. No, claiming vampires weren't ticklish wouldn't work
because she knew this one spot...
In the end, he hadn't slipped back to sleep
for that long, a growling in his stomach reminding him there
were other needs he needed to tend to. Telling himself he
was not getting up because Buffy insisted, Spike
showered and pulled on the last of the clothes he'd brought
with him and headed down to see if there was any blood in
the refrigerator.
The lobby was empty except for Gunn, who looked
up from the paper long enough to say good morning before going
back to the sports page. Spike didn't disturb him, heading
straight for the refrigerator, ready for his morning dose
of pig. A little rummaging and he found it behind the half
and half, pulling the bottle out so he could pour himself
a mug.
He started to turn to ask Gunn if he knew
where the "Coldwell Realty" mug Spike had used the
other night was...and found himself face to face with Angel.
"Glad to see you're up. You and I need to have a little
chat."
Continued in Chapter Twenty-Two