You remember when I cut myself? Well, I wanted to do more. I wanted to cut so deep and bleed out the pain and never come back. You donít know what it did to me, watching you jump and knowing it was my fault. But he told me how stupid that was. Told me that it wouldnít bring you back. Told me that it would kill him, losing us both.
So he was there for me, every day. Heíd come over to the house and play cards, or watch videos with me, or just talk. He loves to talk. He knows so much, about history and stuff. Things heís lived through, yeah, but other things too. Heís really smart. In the fall, before you came back, he helped me with my homework. Not the math, I can handle that. The other stuff, history and English.
I went to the crypt a lot, too. Sometimes Iíd drop by, and catch him crying. You donít know how much you mean to him. He loves you so much. Heíd always snap out of it when he saw that I was there, though. Guess he thought I was depressed enough. It rips me up inside, when he cries.
Of course, I donít drop by anymore. He told me to stop. I know itís because you told him to tell me. He doesnít come to the house anymore, either. Not to see me, anyway. Why did you do that? I miss him so much. Heís my friend, Buffy. Not just because he loves you. He cares about me, and you wrecked that. Sometimes you make me so mad.
But the thing that pisses me off most, my God, the way you treat him. You treat him like shit, Buffy. He could be the best thing in both our lives, and you keep hurting him. Iíve heard the way you talk to him, the way you talk about him to your friends. Itís wrong. Itís stupid. Especially because youíre with him.
Donít think I donít know. My friend Leslie saw you at the Bronze. She told me she saw my sister making out with this really hot blond guy in a black leather coat. So donít pretend you donít care about him. Donít pretend you donít want him. Why donít you just give him a break, call him your boyfriend and straighten things out? Then we both can have him, donít you see?
God, Buffy, we could be a family. Donít you want that? Heís amazing.Ē
Dawn turned from her dresser mirror and sat on her bed. She picked up her pillow and hugged it to her chest. ďNo point in even trying,Ē she said to herself. ďShe never listens to me anyway.Ē