All About Spike

All Our Yesterdays
By Colleen

He didn’t sleep at night, not really.  She’d grown used to that.  He was up now, pacing around the living room.  She knew he’d be back.

He was there in the doorway, silhouetted in the moonlight.  “You awake?”

“Come back to bed.” She reached her hand out to him.  “I’m getting cold.”

He grasped her hand.  “Can’t see that I’d make you much warmer.”

“You’d be surprised.”  She lifted the sheet as he climbed back under. Light from the bedroom window bounced off the clean white lines of his chest.  He was beautiful, in and out, and he was hers.  The sheet dropped from her chocolate skin, long black curls falling around her face, cascading down her back, as she took his hand in hers.  “You okay, baby?”

“I’m fine, pet.”

“Dreaming about her again?  The one you got your soul for?”

“That bother you?”

She smiled and lay with her arm across him, snuggling closer.  “Water long under the bridge.  But you never finished the story.  Did she ever tell you she loved you?”

He sighed.  “What makes you think she did?”

“How could she not?”  She traced circles on his upper arm with the fingertips of her free hand.  “Did it get better? After you came home.”

He laughed at that.  “Worse, in some ways. Better in others.  And yeah, she told me.”  He wrapped his arms around his body, keeping her hand pressed under his.  “Right near the end.  Just before I lost her for the last time.  Lost them all.  She told me.”

“Don’t talk if it’s too hard, baby.”

“I thought I couldn’t go on.  Almost walked out into the sun.  But she would’ve hated that.”  The tears flowed down his cheeks.  “She was gone.  The Bit, that was her sister.  Harris. Hated the git, but he came through in the end.  His girl.  The Watcher.  Almost all.”

“I’m sorry.  So sorry.”  She regretted bringing him pain.  Kissed the tears from his cheeks.

He held her tight.  “Just the Witch, Willow.  All that was left. The winners.” His laugh was bitter. “We still talk, sometimes.”  He lay with his eyes shut, his heart somewhere in the painful past.  “She’s old, now.”  He sat up in the bed, looking down at her.  “Why do you want to know all this?  Why does it matter?”

“It matters.”  She eased him back down and lay her head on his chest. It always amazed her, how someone so alive could have no heartbeat.  “I want to know everything about you.”  She circled  him with both arms and held him close.  “Because I love you.”

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