All About Spike - With a little help from his friends by dutchbuffy2305

With a little help from his friends
By dutchbuffy2305

Timeline: In Beneath You, after the basement scene
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: All ME
Author’s note: Ever wonder just how Spike managed to get cleaned up?

Clem nearly choked on his mouthful of Burrito’s when the door of his crypt slammed open and a smoking blanket tumbled in.

"Spike? Buddy? You okay?"

"Whoa, pal, bad hair day much? Sit down, sit down, I’ll get you some blood and Weetabix."

"I can see you really needed that, buddy. How was Africa? Did you get what you wanted? Did it make the Slayer happy, like you hoped?"

"Oh. Oh! I guess not. Here, tissues. I keep ‘em for Sophie, ‘cause she’s allergic to corpse dust, you know. Did you know people could be allergic to that?"

"Come on, let it all out. No need to be ashamed of it, I still cry when I rewatch ET."

"Spike? Spike? You think you’re going to stop any time today? I’m kinda starting to worry about moisture loss here?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get that. Not that I have hair, of course, but still, you don’t want the girl to see you like that."

"To see you like that again, check."

"Hi, um, Donna? Remember Spike? He’s hit kind of a bad spot lately, and he doesn’t want his girl to see him all down and out. Yeah. Okay, not your girl. Sure. Well, Donna, a trim and a bleach. Like Madonna? Before your time? Spike? Billy Idol? No, doesn’t ring a bell with me either. Rutger Hauer? Dennis Rodman? Dennis Rodman it is. I’ll go get you some clothes and pick you up when I’m done. Thanks for taking the trouble, Donna."

"Okay, buddy, here we go. Black jeans 28-34. One T-shirt, Superman blue. I’m sorry it doesn’t have the Superman logo, they didn’t have them in your size. I have Superman boxers though! You never wear them? I’ll take ‘em myself. You look spiffy, really. She’ll love it. Brings out your eyes, don’t you think, Donna? Not enough eyes for you? He’s taken anyway, aren’t you Spike?"

"Spike! Hey! Good luck! Say hello to the Slayer for me! I don’t think he heard that. You know, between you and me, I don’t think that girl is good for him. She’s human, kinda looks down on him. Why can’t he find a nice little vamp, or a demonette? Bye Donna!"