All About Spike

With a little help from his friends
By dutchbuffy2305

Timeline: In Beneath You, after the basement scene
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: All ME
Authorís note: Ever wonder just how Spike managed to get cleaned up?



Clem nearly choked on his mouthful of Burritoís when the door of his crypt slammed open and a smoking blanket tumbled in.

"Spike? Buddy? You okay?"

"Whoa, pal, bad hair day much? Sit down, sit down, Iíll get you some blood and Weetabix."

"I can see you really needed that, buddy. How was Africa? Did you get what you wanted? Did it make the Slayer happy, like you hoped?"

"Oh. Oh! I guess not. Here, tissues. I keep Ďem for Sophie, Ďcause sheís allergic to corpse dust, you know. Did you know people could be allergic to that?"

"Come on, let it all out. No need to be ashamed of it, I still cry when I rewatch ET."

"Spike? Spike? You think youíre going to stop any time today? Iím kinda starting to worry about moisture loss here?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get that. Not that I have hair, of course, but still, you donít want the girl to see you like that."

"To see you like that again, check."

"Hi, um, Donna? Remember Spike? Heís hit kind of a bad spot lately, and he doesnít want his girl to see him all down and out. Yeah. Okay, not your girl. Sure. Well, Donna, a trim and a bleach. Like Madonna? Before your time? Spike? Billy Idol? No, doesnít ring a bell with me either. Rutger Hauer? Dennis Rodman? Dennis Rodman it is. Iíll go get you some clothes and pick you up when Iím done. Thanks for taking the trouble, Donna."

"Okay, buddy, here we go. Black jeans 28-34. One T-shirt, Superman blue. Iím sorry it doesnít have the Superman logo, they didnít have them in your size. I have Superman boxers though! You never wear them? Iíll take Ďem myself. You look spiffy, really. Sheíll love it. Brings out your eyes, donít you think, Donna? Not enough eyes for you? Heís taken anyway, arenít you Spike?"

"Spike! Hey! Good luck! Say hello to the Slayer for me! I donít think he heard that. You know, between you and me, I donít think that girl is good for him. Sheís human, kinda looks down on him. Why canít he find a nice little vamp, or a demonette? Bye Donna!"

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