DISCLAIMER: All hail Joss Whedon, UPN, the WB, FOX, Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. Theirs, not mine.
Part 4: Contented
“You’ve lived a long time, you must have a lot of stories to tell,” she said. “If you can’t tell me about your past, you can’t be free to be yourself.”
“It doesn’t disgust you?” I asked, not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
She stopped and took both my hands in hers. “You’re a vampire,” she said forthrightly. “You need blood to survive. No one ever told you that there was another way, that you didn’t have to kill to feed.”
“I did like the killing,” I admitted. “It was part of the whole experience, part of the rush.”
“You’re a predator,” she said earnestly. “That is part of your character. But obviously not the whole of it.” I kissed her gently and we resumed our walk.
“If I had the chip out,” I explained, “I think that I would try to kill again. I thought that it wasn’t working, and I tried to eat someone.”
She paused for a minute and thought. “How did it make you feel? Did you get the same rush?”
I shook my head. “The high, the juice, it wasn’t there. It wasn’t about the blood, or the kill. It was more about being angry with Buffy, and angry at myself for being so whipped.”
“You’re not ruled by your instincts anymore,” she said. “Even if the chip fails, you’ll be different than before.”
“Things are different now. I have you.” I gently kissed her knuckles. “I know you couldn’t stay with a killer,” I said to her. “As long as I have you, I won’t hurt anyone, even if the Initiative comes knocking on my door with a big box of candy, an apology, and a really good brain surgeon.”
She laughed. “The Initiative-O-Gram.”
“We’re from the government,” I intoned, “and we’re here to help.”
We turned the corner onto Revello Drive. I stopped and looked at her. “How do you want to play this?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” she replied. She shivered slightly in the wind and I looped her long scarf around her neck.
“Do you want to keep this a secret? You don’t have to tell anyone about us if you don’t want to,” I said sincerely.
“I’m not ashamed of you,” she said earnestly. “And I don’t believe in lying to the people that I care about.”
“It will hurt Willow,” I said to her. “She thinks you’ll come back to her.”
A shadow crossed her face. “I don’t want to hurt her,” she said softly. “But she hurt me. What she did to me was wrong, and I’m not going to push what we have under the rug just to make her comfortable.”
“She is in recovery, and she’s having a hard time,” I said. “I’m just afraid that she might try a love spell or something if she knew.”
“I won’t lie,” she said adamantly. “If anyone asks directly, I won’t lie. And I don’t want you to lie either.”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and we continued to walk. “Whatever you want, love.”
Buffy’s house appeared down the block. I tugged Tara back into the bushes. “What are you doing?” she asked, as I put my hands under her jacket.
“I’m storing up for later,” I said as I caressed her breasts. “I’ll have to be a good boy all night long.” I moved my mouth to her jaw, and licked her. She moaned. “Oh, don’t make that noise, pet,” I said as I bit her ear. “You’ll be shagged upright in the shrubbery.” Her hand cupped me through my pants and she rubbed me firmly. “Apparently that’s what you want,” I said, as her mouth covered mine. She kissed me heatedly as her tongue probed my mouth. She stopped for a second to catch her breath. “Stop that,” I said. “It feels way too good.”
She broke away reluctantly. “You’ll have to make it up to me later,” she said with a sly grin.
We walked down the street and up Buffy’s front porch. I rang the doorbell. Buffy opened the front door. “What a surprise,” she said coldly. “So much for not darkening my doorstep again.”
“I’m not here for you,” I said.
She smirked. “I know exactly why you’re here,” she said, as she leaned in close.
“He’s with me,” said Tara, as she peeked out from behind me. Buffy stepped back, flustered. “We’re here for Dawn.”
We walked inside. “Why are you with him?” Buffy asked Tara.
Dawn ran down the stairs, a smile on her face. “Spike! What are you doing here?”
“I’m going to escort two lovely ladies to the picture show,” I said with a smile.
“Cool,” she said as she grabbed her jacket and spun out the front door. “Bye Buffy.” Tara and I exchanged looks. Buffy looked sad.
“Have a good evening, Slayer,” I said as Tara and I went to catch up with Dawn.
“So my friend Janice saw this movie,” said Dawn excitedly as we stood in line at the Sun. “She said it was the scariest thing ever.”
“I don’t think that I want to see it,” said Tara. “I don’t like scary things.” I smiled at her, and she blushed. The wind picked up and her scarf unfurled into the air.
“What happened to your neck?” asked Dawn, as she reached out and touched the bandage at Tara’s throat.
“Spike bit me,” my girl said seriously.
Dawn smiled and rolled her eyes. “Fine, don’t tell me.” She looked at the list of movies that were playing. “Well, if we’re not going to see ‘Blood Storm’, how about ‘Love In The Heather?’” She turned to me. “But you probably wouldn’t want to see it. It’s all sappy and stuff.”
“I’m up for a good love story, niblet,” I said.
Dawn munched loudly on popcorn, her eyes riveted to the screen. The hero, looking awfully poofy in a long plaid skirt, ran through tall grass. I leaned back in my seat and craned my neck. Tara sat on the other side of Dawn. The light flickered off her face, and her hair glowed in the dim light.
“What do you keep staring at?” Dawn whispered.
“Pretty girl,” I whispered back.
The hero burst into the room and pulled the villain off the heroine. His fist smashed into the bad guy’s jaw, and he went down for the count. The heroine rushed into the hero’s arms. “I will always save you,” he said huskily, as he swept her into a sweeping Hollywood clinch. The music soared to a crescendo, and the screen faded to black. The credits began to roll and the house lights came up.
“That was so beautiful,” snuffled Dawn. She wiped at her face with her sleeve. We stood up and exited the theater. “Did you like it?” Dawn asked Tara.
“I thought it was very romantic,” she replied. She had faint trails of tears on her cheeks. I wiped them away, and she smiled at me.
We walked Dawn up to her front door. “I almost forgot,” she said to Tara. “Willow wanted me to give you a few magicky things that she found. They’re in my room.”
I waited in the foyer while Tara and Dawn went upstairs. “What are you doing here?” asked Buffy as she walked down the hallway.
“Just waiting for Tara,” I replied.
She grabbed her jacket from the banister and put it on. “I’m just leaving for patrol,” she said. “Do you want to come with me?” She looked at me, and I saw the desire in her eyes.
She gave me an assessing look. “Spike,” she said, ”just because we had a fight doesn’t mean that we can’t still hang out.”
“All we do is fight,” I replied, “and I’m tired of fighting.”
“Fighting isn’t all we do,” she said in a low voice.
“We won’t be doing any more fucking, either,” I said harshly. Her fist sped towards my face. I grabbed her wrist. “And I’m not letting you hit me anymore.”
“You like it when I hit you, remember?” she said. Her eyes sparkled brightly, and her breath was fast.
“Not anymore,” I said as I stared in her eyes. I dropped her wrist.
She stared at me in disbelief. “You really mean it,” she whispered. “You really don’t want me anymore.”
“I’ll probably always want you,” I admitted. She moved towards me, hopeful. “But I want to be loved, and I know now that you’ll never let yourself love me.”
She looked confused. “Who could, Spike? Who could let themselves love a soulless monster like you?”
The barb didn’t even hurt. “Someone with heart,” I said. “A girl who can trust, who knows how to give herself, who isn’t afraid.”
Tara walked down the stairs, carrying a bag. I took it from her and she took my arm. “Goodnight,” Tara said sweetly, as we walked out the door.
We walked down the block and she yanked on my arm. She pulled me behind some bushes and kissed me fervently. I wrapped my fingers in her hair, and basked in her touch, her taste. “I missed you,” I whispered.
She took my hand and we walked down the street again. “The night is young,” I said to her. “We could go to the Bronze.” She shook her head. “We could go have coffee, or we could go the bookstore downtown.” I watched her profile, the gentle sweep of her eyelashes and the smooth curve of her jaw. “We could go get a kitten,” I suggested.
“A kitten?” she said hopefully, as her face lit up.
I knocked on my friend Clem’s door. “Hey, man,” he said happily. “What’s up?” He patted me on the back. “Who’s this?” asked the loose skinned demon, as he spotted Tara.
“That’s my new girlfriend,” I said proudly. “Her name’s Tara.”
“Pleased to meet you,” she said as she shook his hand.
“Please come in,” he said as he gestured us in. His apartment was small, and had bookcases up against every available wall. A sofa and chair sat in front of a low coffee table. Tara took off her coat and sat down. “Can I get you a drink?” he asked. “I have beer and some wine coolers. Raspberry and peach, I think.”
“Peach, please,” said Tara.
“I’ll take a beer,” I said.
“I’ve still got some of that Guinness you brought over last week,” he said. “Lia, Spike’s here,” he called down the hall as he went into the kitchen.
“This sure is a whole lot of books,” commented Tara, as she looked around the room.
“Clem loves to read,” I explained. “He can read a page in the blink of an eye. You’ve never seen anything like it.”
A tall, thin girl with long black hair walked into the room. Her skin was white with a subtle tinge of green, and delicate antenna protruded from her head. “Hi Spike,” she said warmly. I kissed her cheek.
“This is my girlfriend Tara,” I explained. Tara and Lia shook hands.
“Can I get you guys a drink?” asked Lia.
“Clem’s on it,” I told her. She sat down next to Tara, and I sat on the floor in front of them.
“So, why haven’t I met you before?” Lia asked.
“We just started dating,” Tara explained.
“Well, I’m glad to have another girl around,” said Lia. “It gets boring when those two start going on and on about poker.”
“Speaking of which, that’s actually why we’re here,” I explained. “Tara wants to pick out a kitten.”
“You like kittens?” said Lia, surprised. “You don’t seem like the type. I don’t like them, myself. I prefer flowers.”
Tara nodded uncertainly. “Yes, I like flowers and kittens too.”
“Nasturtiums are quite tasty,” the other girl continued. “I really prefer rose petals though.”
Clem returned with our drinks and handed them to us. “Did I overhear something about kittens?”
“Tara wants one,” I explained. “As a pet.”
“Oh”, he said, surprised. “I got six cats today. Four Siamese, a Maine Coon and a tabby. But they’re for poker.”
“We can part with one kitten for this nice girl, Clem,” his girlfriend said.
“Okay,” he agreed, and Tara smiled at him.
“Can I see them?” she asked, as she sipped her drink.
"I'll bring them out," offered Lia. She quickly returned with a large wicker basket and set it on the floor next to me.
Tara bent down and picked up a small ball of cloudy brown and black fur. "Look, Spike," she said happily. "Isn't it cute?"
The kitten had a tiny little face, and its nose and paws were a delicate pink. It looked like it was smiling as it slept. "It really is cute, Tara. " I reached out and stroked it with a fingertip and it purred.
"I want this one," she said decisively. "It's just the happiest little ball of energy. She has a wonderful personality, so bubbly and fun."
Clem and Lia looked at me oddly. "She's a witch," I explained. "She senses things." They shook their heads in understanding. Tara cradled the kitten in her long black skirt, a look of serenity on her face.
“Well, now that’s all settled, why don’t we have a little fun?” asked Clem.
Lia looked over at me. “Fresh blood,” she said.
“Now we’re in for it,” I said to Tara.
“Greaves is not a word,” argued Lia. “I’ve never heard of it.”
“Well, then, challenge me,” said Clem as he leaned back from the Scrabble board. “Challenge me and look it up.”
“I wouldn’t do it, Lia,” I cautioned as I drank my beer. “You know he’s always right.”
“I think it is a word,” said Tara. “I’m pretty sure it’s a piece of armor.”
“So we just let him win?” asked Lia, annoyed.
“Well, it was a pretty good game,” said Tara. “We fought the good fight. That thirty seven point word of yours was a pretty killer move.”
Lia smiled, placated. “That was slick.”
We cleared the board and put away the pieces. Lia yawned loudly. “I think I’m done for the night,” she said. “But we should get together soon. You guys want to go out next Friday?” Tara looked at me and I nodded.
“That would be great,” she said.
We walked across campus in the quiet night. I carried Tara’s bag and a sack of kitten chow. Tara carefully carried the kitten in a sealed shoebox. Plaintive mewls escaped for the air holes poked in the cardboard.
“She sounds so sad,” said Tara plaintively. “The poor baby must think I’m so mean.”
“She’ll be happy when she gets out,” I reassured her. “You’re not going to scar her for life.” Tara scanned her keycard at her dorm door and buzzed us in. We made our way to her room and shut the door. I took off my boots and duster as Tara pulled out some boxes and a plastic pan from under the bed.
“What’s all that?” I asked her.
“These were Kitty Fantastico’s supplies.” She smiled at me. “I saved them in case she ever came home.” She set up a little kitty bed on the chest at the foot of her own bed, and set up a litter pan in the far corner. A small mat went under tiny dishes of water and food. When all the preparations were done, Tara carefully unsealed the box. The kitten ran out and climbed up my foot. Needle like claws sank into my flesh.
“Ouch, bugger it,” I said. “This thing is a little demon.”
She carefully removed the kitten and held it up in front of her face. “That’s your name,” she said brightly, “You’re Demon Kitty.” I laughed and the kitten yawned. It fell back asleep. Tara placed it in its bed and turned to me. She pulled me over to the bed, threw me down and unzipped my pants.
"Aren't you a cheeky one," I said, impressed by her boldness. I pulled on the wooden clip that held her hair up, and a shower of golden strands tumbled around her shoulders.
"You were very, very good tonight," she said. "And now I want you to be good to me." Hey eyes were so dark and deep. They drew me in, once again, and I surrendered willingly.
I pulled her sweater over her head. "I'll always be good for you, ducks," I said, aroused by her enthusiasm.
She pulled off her panties and straddled me. The silk of her skirt swished and swirled over the skin of my thighs. Slowly, she sank down on me. She felt so warm, so tight, that I couldn't help but gasp. Tentatively she slid up and down on my cock. Her eyes were fixed on my face, and I knew she needed encouragement. "That's good, you're so good," I said breathily.
Her hands rubbed up and down my chest as she moved. She leaned over and licked my lip. I opened my mouth, and her tongue stroked in and out as my cock stroked in and out of her depths. Slowly I pulled my mouth away and unpeeled the bandage that covered the wounds in her neck. I pressed my mouth to her skin, and slid my tongue over the marks, over the sign of her trust, her gift. "I love this," I whispered to her. "I love the way that you make me feel." She moaned and her fingernails dug into my shoulder. I looked up at her, and her head was thrown back, her chest flushed. Her face was suffused with pleasure, pleasure that I had given her. "Spike, " she said distantly. "Please."
I grabbed her waist and turned her on her back. I drove inside her powerfully, and her eyes widened. Her skirt bunched up between us, and I ripped it off her. She grabbed the headboard, and her body shook with each thrust. I hammered inside her deeply, and it was so erotic, so intense. "Too hard?" I asked breathlessly. She shook her head and wrapped her hands tightly around my shoulders. "Don't ever stop wanting me," I panted. "Never stop needing me." My orgasm built steadily, a huge wall of exquisite sensation that was about to crash down.
"I'll never stop. This will never stop," she said. I came with a roar, and she clenched around me as she lost control. I collapsed on top of her, and she ran her fingers through my hair. "Never," she said softly in my ear.
"Never," I said as I kissed her gently.
Continued in Part 5: Loved