DISCLAIMER: All hail Joss Whedon, UPN, the WB, FOX, Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. Theirs, not mine.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The poem quoted is “Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost.
Part 3: Known
“Good morning, pet.” I smiled at her. She pressed my lips to hers, and I was enveloped once again in her taste, cloves and honey. Her hands brushed down my back, and her touch was so gentle, so light.
Classical music pealed loudly through the room. I sank back against the pillows as she leaned forward and shut off her alarm. “I have to get up now,” she explained as she turned back towards me.
“Do you have to?” I asked regretfully. I ran my hand down her neck, and she caught her breath.
“I have to,” she said softly. She kissed me swiftly on the forehead and got out of bed. “I have a class.” She turned and smiled at me as she pulled on her robe. “Do you want to have breakfast with me?”
Shortly after, I sat across from Tara. She wore red today to match the ruby pendant that hung around her neck. Carefully she stirred granola into a bowl of yogurt.
“I don’t know how you can eat that crap,” I commented. “It tastes rancid.”
“You’re a little judgmental for a guy who drinks blood,” she said in a low voice.
“I have great taste,” I replied. “Take this here.” I held up my bowl of Captain Crunch. “This is a bloody brilliant breakfast.”
“It has no nutritional value. It’s empty calories, nothing but sugar and starch.”
“But it’s good. It bursts on your tongue.” I held up a spoonful to her mouth. “Come on, eat this.”
She shook her head. “I have my yogurt.”
“Live a little, Wicca.” She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth. I fed her the cereal and she ate tentatively.
“It’s really good.” She munched thoughtfully. “Yummy.” She looked so adorable; I just had to kiss her. I leaned across the table and brought her lips to mine. I slid my tongue in her mouth and she whimpered.
“Get a room!” someone yelled. We turned and looked around. A good number of the people in the cafeteria stared at us. Flustered, Tara stood up abruptly.
“Where are you going, pet?” I grabbed her hand.
“I-I-I’m going to go dig a hole and bury myself in it,” she said, her face red.
“They’re just jealous,” I said soothingly as I pulled her back down.
She took a few more bites of yogurt, and then looked at me thoughtfully. “Can I eat the rest of that?” she asked, as she gestured to my cereal.
“So what’s next on your schedule?” I asked her as we walked through the tunnel underneath UC Sunnydale.
“I have Art History and then Ceramics.” She took my hand and interlaced her fingers with mine. “I’ll be done by one o’clock.” She looked at me hesitantly.
“Do you want to meet me at my crypt later?” I asked her. “I just sit around all day watching the telly.”
“Why don’t you stay in my dorm? You can watch the big TV in the lounge. And there’s always guys hanging out playing pool or ping-pong.” She smiled shyly at me. “And we could do something after I got back.”
“Sounds good.” And it did. I opened the door to the basement in Sullivan Hall for her. “Stay out of trouble,” she said, as she handed me her room key and pecked my cheek. Her full skirt fluttered around her legs as she walked away. She peeked over her shoulder and smiled when she saw that I was watching her.
I made my way back to her dorm and went to the lounge. It held several couches and a huge television set. A dozen girls were gathered around watching a talk show. They turned and looked at me curiously when I came in. “Hello,” I said. I plopped down on a couch and stretched out my legs.
“Are you Tara’s boyfriend?” asked a pudgy blonde in a pink sweat suit. “I saw you guys in the cafeteria.”
“I’m Spike,” I said with a smile.
“Isn’t she, you know, gay?” asked a curvy brunette. Another girl elbowed her in the ribs. We watched several lame shows, and made fun of the people on them. The blonde girl shared her doughnuts and Cokes with me.
I got bored sitting still and made a fast fifty bucks off a couple guys who had no idea how to play pool. I wandered back to Tara’s room, and I sat on her bed while I leafed through a dog-eared volume of poetry. The cracks on the spine and her notes in the margins showed me what she liked best. “Beautiful”, she wrote in her tiny hand. “Perfect.” Her favorites seemed to be ones about the beauty of the outdoors. She liked Frost; every poem of his was underlined, and the pages were worn smooth from use.
The door opened and she was back. I smiled, happy to see her. She sat down next to me and peered over my shoulder. “Nature's first green is gold,” she read softly, “Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower. But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.” She looked away from me. The room was so still and quiet. Silence extended for a minute, and the only sound was her quiet breath.
“Tara?” I asked. I reached out and touched her shoulder. Her muscles were tight.
“Nothing gold can stay,” she repeated. “I think that I must have done something wrong when I healed you,” she said quietly.
I stroked her hair. “Why do you think that?”
“The way that I feel,” she said. “The way that we are together. It happened during the spell.”
Understanding dawned and I dropped my hand away, stung. “You think the way we feel is just a…” I grasped for the right words. “A mistake,” I said, my voice hard and cold.
“You love Buffy,” she said adamantly. “You were with her. You never even looked at me twice. And I don’t even…”
“You don’t even like men.” It came out harder than I intended, and she flinched. I stood up and walked away from her. She turned to face me, and her eyes were bright with tears. “You don’t really want me.” I sounded stiff and unnatural, and I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest.
“Spike, you’re wrong. I want you so much,” she said passionately. “I’m falling in love with you.”
“What do you think is happening to me?” I asked her, hurt. “What we said last night, what we did, you think that was all a lie?”
“It has to be magic,” she said as she stared at me. “It’s just too good to be true.”
I walked to the bed and kneeled in front of her. “I’ve never been so happy, ever. I couldn’t bear to be away from you for a few hours. You’re the one that I want,” I said hoarsely. I held her hand in mine and looked into her eyes. They were full of love, and pulled me like a magnet. I pulled off her sweater and undid her bra. I cradled the fullness of her breasts in my hands, as I ran my thumbs over her pebbled nipples.
She made breathy little noises. “Please,” she said quietly.
“Please, what?” I said. I slowly slipped off her skirt and her panties. My hand ran up the long white length of her thigh and I slipped my fingers inside her.
“You feel so good,” she said breathlessly. I pumped my fingers in and out as I played with her soft pink nipple. She came suddenly, and she bit down hard on her lip.
“Don’t hold back,” I said. “I want to hear it.”
“I want to feel you inside me,” she panted. “I want to know all of you.” The feel of her, the need on her face, it was too powerful. I stood up and pulled off my clothes.
“Tell me you want me,” I said raggedly as I leaned her back on the softness of her quilt.
She looked up at me. “I want you,” she said, her eyes raw with lust.
“I won’t ever let you go,” I said to her, needing her to understand.
“Please don’t,” she said sincerely. The ruby heart that I’d given her blazed against the white of her skin.
I sucked her fingers into my mouth and bit them lightly. I held the head of my cock and rubbed it up and down her slit. I traced circles over and around her clit, until we were both slick with arousal. I slipped in slightly, the head just inside her. The feel of her warmth was amazing and I thrust my hips forward. I stilled, awed by how warm and tight and good she felt. “Do it. Don’t stop. Make love to me,” she asked, her voice full of desire.
“Please tell me this means something,” I said through clenched teeth.
“It means everything,” she said. Her hair cascaded around her face and she was so incredibly beautiful. I slowly moved inside her, and it felt so right, so fine. She slid her hands around me and gently cupped my ass. I stroked in and out of her, and she stared up at me.
“Do you like it?” I asked her. “Am I hurting you?”
She shook her head. “It feels so nice,” she said.
“I can do better than nice,” I said, as I bent my head to her neck. I licked and bit her, and she tightened around me. I moved within her, and the noises that she made encouraged me. Her hands clenched tightly around me as I increased the pace.
“I feel like I’m going to split apart,” she said, her voice high and thin. “I feel like I’m breaking.” I looked at her face, and it was full of ecstasy, tight with anticipation.
“Come for me,” I said to her. “I want to make you come.” She opened her eyes and stared up at me. “You don’t know what you do to me,” I whispered to her. “The smell of you, the sound of your voice, the feel of you underneath me.” She bit her lip again. “Scream, yell, let me hear it,” I said, my voice uneven as I careened towards orgasm.
“God Spike I want you and you feel so good and you’re so hard and you fill me and I…” The flood of words cut off as she came, and she bit me hard on the neck. The pain broke my control and I let myself go. We held each other tightly as we recovered from the intense sensations.
She rested against my chest, and I stroked her back with my hand. I ran my hand up and down her spine. “You’re petting me,” she said. “I feel like I’m Miss Kitty Fantastico.”
“Whatever happened to that cat?” I asked her.
“She ran away from home,” she said sadly.
“I’ll have to get you a new one. You can pet me in the meantime,” I said seductively. I turned to face her and ran my hand along her thigh.
“Please,” she said. Her eyes fluttered closed and her cheeks were tinged with pink.
“Please, what?” I asked, as I moved my hand lower.
“I want you again,” she said. I circled her clit with my thumb, and slipped my fingers inside her. Her hand closed around my cock, and I moaned into her neck. “Do I make you feel good?” she asked.
“God, yes,” I said, lost in bliss.
“Do you want to make love to me?” she asked.
“Let me show you how much,” I said as I kissed her. I thrust inside her, and she made a pained noise.
“Are you sore?” I asked, concerned. “Did I hurt you?” Her teeth sank into my shoulder and her nails scratched my back. “Oh, Tara. That’s so damn sexy,” I said as she wrapped her legs around me tightly. I increased the pace, and she scratched harder and harder on my back.
“Don’t do that, pet,” I said. “It’s driving me insane. You’re going to get more than you bargained for.”
She licked my lip, and then bit down hard. “You came when I bit you,” she whispered. “I could tell you liked it.” She stared in my eyes and deliberately drew her nails down my chest.
I let loose my demon. Tara stilled as she stared at my face. “Vampires like pain. And if you hurt me, it will be hard to be gentle with you. I don’t want to hurt you,” I explained. Her eyes were wide, but I couldn’t read their expression. “I won’t bite you,” I reassured her.
“You can if you want to,” she said, as she caressed my brow.
“Why would you want me to do that?” I asked, not understanding.
“How long has it been, since you had what you really need?”” she said softly. She ran her fingers along my fangs, an appraising look on her face.
“You’re not scared?” I asked her gently.
She smiled at me. “It’s part of who you are, it is what you are. I trust you.” I slid my fangs into her neck as I moved within her. The taste of her was fire and electricity in my mouth, warm and gloriously human. I felt her come, and she cried out my name. I drank and thrust, and was filled with her life, surrounded by it, as I filled her with my essence.
I held her in my arms and listened to her heartbeat. “No one has ever done that for me before,” I said quietly. “I’ve never had anyone open up to me so totally.”
“I accept you,” she said. ”You don’t have to try to be something you’re not.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I said. I nuzzled my face into her neck and smelled the rich scent of her blood.
“No one ever deserves love,” she replied. “But we’re blessed with it anyway.” We held each other and drifted off to sleep.
Shadows crept in the room as dusk fell outside. “We slept the day away,” said Tara as she woke me up. She wore another robe, this one a soft blue. She moved to her dresser and brushed her hair.
I wrapped my arms around her and watched her solitary reflection in the mirror. “I want to take you out somewhere tonight. We could go to a nice restaurant,” I told her.
“I’d love to, but I already have plans for tonight,” she said.
I felt abandoned. “I understand, pet. You’ve got your own life,” I said briskly, as I turned away.
She grabbed my waist, and her face was full of happiness and affection “My life that you’re now a huge, important part of.” She stood on her toes and kissed my nose. “I’m taking Dawn to the movies. Would you like to come too?” she asked.
I smiled in relief. “That would be great.”
Continued in Part 4: Contented