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15  gwendolen posted on Jun 8, 2004
Hey, another one I can finally read now that we're catching up on the eps in Australia (I'm spoiler-averse). I have to say my interpretation of this poignant little piece differs quite a bit from some of those below. I read it as classic, angsty miscommunication between two people in emotional pain. The ending is sad but I didn't read into it anything as definitive as the end of Spike & Buffy. I guess that's because, in my head, even if there is no sequel, I can't imagine Buffy not finding out about Spike's hands and taking it from there...
14  rashaka posted on Mar 7, 2004
The good thing about catching up on my Angel eps is that now I can read all the fic by my S/B buddies!

The bad news is that now I'm properly depressed. ::sniffle::
13  BelleImani posted on Feb 13, 2004 | www.slashaholics-island.com/library
I find this a fascinating view. Especially since I think it may be the true one. I think Spike's afraid that like Dru before her, his love for Buffy isn't as pure as he thought it was and perhaps if he sees her again he'll not see her the way he did before he died.
12  Zyrya posted on Feb 6, 2004
I find it impossible to believe that Buffy loves Spike ... I don't think she's capable of it ... and therefore anything that separates them and allows him to move on is a good thing, and Spike actually taking the initiative to separate them is an extra good thing. For me, Buffy would have to go through an enormous amount of change and growth to get to the point where she could love Spike - or anyone. Fics that have the premise that Buffy loves Spike - without showing massive changes to Buffy's character - don't work for me. So the Bangel version of 'setting free' (the "we love each other but I've decided I'm bad for you so I'm taking unilateral action and abandoning you") doesn't apply to the Spuffy because Spike would be setting them both free ... freeing Buffy from an obligation to 'love' him because he saved the world, and freeing himself from his destructive and self-destructive attachment to Buffy.

(And in any case, it's Buffy who leaves, in your fic. She doesn't immediately get what she wants, what she's expecting from Spike, and she buggers off.)

So I see your fic as a positive step for Spike in spite of the short-term misery, and that he isn't cutting himself off from love or hope at all but is opening himself up to new sources of love and hope and is letting go of the past.
11  Natsing posted on Feb 6, 2004
Wow, sad and really well written, I could understand Spike's reactions, and how Buffy might misinterpret them. Plus Angel being kind to Spike, very nice to see
Excellent piece
10  Fanatic posted on Feb 6, 2004
I hope you'll continue this. I this that Joss is straining plausability by keeping Spike and Buffy apart. Although he can't really help SMG's schedule......
9  caia posted on Feb 5, 2004 | http://www.geocities.com/caiafic/index.html
Zyrya I cannot control how people interpret my stories, so if this is your reading, it is a perfectly valid one. I'm still surprised your response is a cheerful one. Even if you dislike Buffy, I wasn't thinking that Spike was doing the "right thing," for himself either, by not telling her what's happened to him. He's cutting himself off from sympathy and possibly love because he's lost hope in a broader sense, and is ashamed of his new disability. It's ultimately self-destructive on his part. I'm supremely skeptical of the shows' praise of "setting people free" by leaving them, and how making pre-emptive decisions for others is so often called "the right thing," and this played into the writing of this ficlet. But then, if I didn't convey that to you, it's not like I can say, wait wait! you're wrong! now. Just some thoughts.

Thanks for reviewing, you've given me food for thought too.

caia
8  Zyrya posted on Feb 5, 2004
I'm struggling against the urge to post a big happy thing about Spike having his Spuffy delusions amputated along with his hands ... which is inappropriate for the sorrowful tone of the fic and for Spike's dire circumstances. But it's hard. I keep typing and deleting. I'm sorry, Caia - I know you mean this to be a sympathetic study of Buffy, but I just can't marry it with the canon Buffy I've come to so despise. And I can't stop thinking that if Buffy mistakenly believes Spike is spurning her when really he's setting her free, then that's a tidy, welcome end to the Spuffy.

So thank you for ending the Spuffy, and thank you for the calm, compassionate Angel.
7  caia posted on Feb 4, 2004 | http://www.geocities.com/caiafic/index.html
Thanks for the reivews, all. Nan, I wrote this when I'd just heard the most basic spoiler about 5.11 so this Spike didn't get his hands back. Yet, anyway. Fallowdoe, I suppose it is unlikely that no one would tell her in the long term, but this is the first moment she's seen him, possibly even the moment she finds out he's back... and I can see Spike insisting no one tell her about his disfigurement. After all, he's kept his return a secret, something I find hard to grasp. Anonymous, I appreciate your analysis of Buffy, as I hadn't actually thought it out that way. Unlike you I still try to have some hope for S/B (in fiction) and sympathy for Buffy. He's back from the dead and he won't hold her he says nothing to make her think she isn't the one who's alone this time. I suppose there's some degree of blindness, but then, how could she guess? Violet, I'm sorry, but this is all there is to this particular AU 5.11 story.

I really appreciate all your thoughts, thank you.

caia
6  . posted on Feb 4, 2004
I like this because it's very in-character for Buffy to sort of freak out because Spike might not love her anymore, and to totally ignore that *he's* the one hurting way more than she is. She runs away because she's so obsessed with herself and her own importance that she fails to recognize the legitimate pain that others experience--it's incomprehensible to her that Spike's awkwardness may have nothing to do with her. She runs away, totally caught up in herself and her own self-pity and melodramatic angst, before anyone can tell her what's actually wrong with Spike. It's sad but very possible (and in the end, Spike will be much better off without such a leech dragging him down).
5  Fallowdoe posted on Feb 4, 2004
Lovely imagery here, and a fragile, gentle tone. I love the image of 'the wings of her shoulder blades'. Quite original. I hate to quibble, but I do think that it's a touch awkward that no one mentions what's wrong with Spike's hands. I do like, though, the feeling I have of Angel being kind, even mildly defensive, of Spike. I hope they do acknowledge a unique sort of friendship on the show, in the end. Thank you so much for sharing this.
4  VioletSpike posted on Feb 4, 2004
UM MORE!!!

oh god there has to be more of this... a short little tale that holds so many possibilitys.
PLEASE don't leave this as a one off.
3  Nan posted on Feb 4, 2004 | http://www.soulfulspike.com
Will someone just please tell Buffy that Spike's hands aren't working quite right yet?
2  gamiila posted on Feb 4, 2004
Such a sad, sad situation...but captured in such beautiful words.
1  LadyWenham posted on Feb 4, 2004 | http://ithilien.morningstar-rising.com
Great job!

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